Everything Is Beautiful
To win back Abel and stop the Minister's plans you're going to need powerful allies. Luckily Amelia has some... Cast * Amelia Spens * Paula Cohen * Maxine Myers * Jody Marsh * Manisha * Keith * Molina Plot Don't Be Late! It's your first real outing with Amelia and she's enjoying it much more than everyone else. She'll help make a deal with Utopia Labs, but only if you lean in to your new reputation as evil renegades. Then Repeat! Go! Utopia Labs certainly lives up to its name. Amelia introduces you to Manisha and Keith, but it turns out Paula already knows them from her work with Van Ark. Amelia heads off to talk business while the rest of you go for a run with your new friends. Feel This Tomorrow Apparently Jody knows Manisha and Keith too. She and Chris McShell met them in the early days of the apocalypse. Manisha was recently contacted by a McShell at Abel, and thinking it was Chris, sent over Van Ark's surviving notes. Towards The Ornamental Bridges Paula and Keith reminisce about a game they played together during their pre-apocalypse down time, but are interrupted by an explosion taking down Utopia Labs' fence. Ginseng Tea And Massage Manisha and Keith are so impressed with your zombie herding skills they offer Paula their plasmapheresis machine. Jody's suspicious after there's no further attack. Molina's Been Attacked! As the plasmapheresis machine's handed over Amelia arrives to suggest it's time to leave, and leave very quickly. The lab's leader has been attacked! Going To Die A safe distance away Amelia owns up to attacking Utopia Labs' leader. Keith has snuck away to give Paula the information sent to 'McShell' at Abel. The emails reveal Veronica's working on a cure and vaccine for the Ministry, but for that she needs the Viking zombie inside Abel's locked labs. S05E12 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript AMELIA SPENS: sighs What a day. What a day! The sun, the birds singing. Isn’t this nice? MAXINE MYERS: No, it’s not. Spending time with you is never nice, Amelia. Mainly because of the constant threat of inevitable and homicidal betrayal if the wind changes direction. AMELIA SPENS: Well, obviously, I meant nice for me, now your boss is convinced I’m useful. It’s interesting, this being on the side of good, isn’t it? I almost see why you do it. I feel so virtuous. I’m almost physically swelling with it. Bit gross. On the side of the plucky little underdogs, look at me. Here with plucky mother of one Maxine Myers, death-cheating actual zombie Paula – I forget your last name, Paula – and of course, brave brave Runner Five. The dream team, no less. And little moi. Who’d have thought it? JODY MARSH: Aw, be quiet Amelia. Everyone’s bored to death of you already. AMELIA SPENS: And Jody on comms. For a moment there, I’d forgotten you existed. But that just makes remembering again all the better. How are you? Still unreasonably feisty? JODY MARSH: God, I hate you. AMELIA SPENS: That’s a yes. JODY MARSH: And yet, here I am, talking you through this mission while Sam’s babysitting. And by that, I mean sleeping. PAULA COHEN: Oh, good. He really needs to catch up. He’s been doing most of the night feeds. AMELIA SPENS: Aw, what a hero. JODY MARSH: Alright, we’re relying on you to come up with something good for us today, Amelia. Wakened Land, whatever it is, has been going on for decades, and we need to recruit some powerful allies. You said you’d get us some powerful allies, so make with the allies. AMELIA SPENS: Would I ever let you down, Jody? I’m going to make an introduction for you to some of my most trusted contacts: Utopia Labs. They’re a private enclave of scientists and other thinkers. Pooled their resources to create a good life for themselves: greenhouses full of food, gardens, a swimming pool… MAXINE MYERS: sighs Plutocrats, like that place we met Professor Downes. They threw out eggplant. AMELIA SPENS: Listen, Maxine, you’ve got to give up that tone now that you’re a renegade. I didn’t want to have to be the one to tell you this, but the fact is, no one likes you. PAULA COHEN: scoffs No one likes us? This coming from you? AMELIA SPENS: Oh yes, I’d forgot you’d be upset about something like that. Look, the Ministry is what passes for government now in this country. You hate the Ministry because, I don’t know, zombie fetus, baby kidnapping, lying on their dating profile, blah blah blah blah blah. Ethics, fine. But there are other people who hate the Ministry for the same perfectly sensible reasons people have always hated government. Utopia Labs want to be allowed to do their own thing. For them, the zombie apocalypse is an opportunity to cut through a lot of red tape. So they aren’t the biggest fans of you with your Abel Township better-than-you saving-the-world schtick either. JODY MARSH: Uh, sorry? What now? AMELIA SPENS: But it’s alright. Listen: you’re renegades now. Sigrid’s been going around telling everyone that you’re evil, self-interested sadists who dress in black leather for no reason, and you have to understand that for some people, this is a selling point. You have a bad reputation now. Lean into it. If we convince Utopia Labs you’re their kind of people, they can help us out with all sorts, including the plasmapheresis machine you need. It’s not far. Straight down that path. I’ll see you there. I need to deal with something. Keep running! Don’t be late. AMELIA SPENS: Come on! What kept you? MAXINE MYERS: The fact you sent us on a longer route. AMELIA SPENS: Oh, was it? How odd. Now… system beeps, gate opens Ah, there we go. This way. You go first, Five, in case of hostiles. In fact, is there any way you could go both first and last? Check the coast is clear, and then nip around and bring up the rear? JODY MARSH: Stop it. AMELIA SPENS: Only because you asked so nicely. MAXINE MYERS: Wow! Look at this place! PAULA COHEN: Is that a fountain? MAXINE MYERS: Are those peacocks? Who keeps peacocks in an apocalypse? And wouldn’t their cries draw zombies? AMELIA SPENS: Listen, all of you. You have one job here, and that is to be nice. Act impressed! Make friends with these people! Remember, they can help you. MANISHA: … all you are from all you have. Remember, you deserve it! You are worth it. Good things happen to good people. And awaken. And that’s the end of today’s meditation. Oh! Hello, Amelia! Malina said you were stopping by. AMELIA SPENS: Manisha, what a delight! MANISHA: How wonderful to see you. What an honor. Oh, is that… is that Runner Five? Goodness me. Amelia, private word. AMELIA SPENS: It’s fine, Manisha! Really. Runner Five’s come around to our way of thinking. MANISHA: Our way of thinking? AMELIA SPENS: Yes. Freedom, success, all of that. These are two other lawless renegades, Doctor Paula Cohen, and Doctor Sandra Fandfogler, an expert in warts. MAXINE MYERS: Hi, uh, Manisha! I’m Sandra Fandfogler. I am an expert in warts, and we’re here because we admire your lifestyle so much and we want to set up mutually agreeable trade systems, don’t we, Doctor Cohen? PAULA COHEN: Oh, Manisha and I have met. MAXINE MYERS: You have? PAULA COHEN: Manisha used to work with Professor Van Ark, after the start of the apocalypse. MANISHA: Oh my goodness! I hardly recognized you. Have you been ill, Paula? Oh, darling. Darling! Come over here, see who it is. KEITH: Oh, hey, Nish. What is it, babe? MANISHA: This is my husband, Keith. Keith, remember Paula? Van Ark’s right hand woman back in the day! Oh, come on. Runner Five, Doctor Cohen, Doctor Fandfogler, come on a run with us around the place, see who you’re getting involved with. MAXINE MYERS: But uh, Amelia, didn’t you need us for those trade negotiations? AMELIA SPENS: Oh no, Doctor Fandfogler. You enjoy yourselves. I’ll deal with the negotiations with Malina myself. Remember how much you said you wanted to meet all of these lovely people? KEITH: All right then, everyone. Fast sprints for thirty and then jog for sixty, then repeat. Go! JODY MARSH: Guys, while you’re falling behind for a sec, I also know these two. Um, me and Chris McShell met them really early in the apocalypse, when we had to take shelter from a zombie horde in an old manor house. PAULA COHEN: I remember they turned up at Van Ark’s labs a few months into the apocalypse. They were never senior, but I don’t forget a face. I wonder how they ended up here? MANISHA: Come on, all of you. Keep up! KEITH: Oh, don’t stress them, babe. These training runs in the woodland trail are pretty intense. Hey, so, you’re all from Abel? Hey, we used to know some people from Abel. That uh, Chris McShell. He’s a babe, isn’t he? laughs Oh God, with all his thinking it through, and “all we have is our brains.” laughs Oh, he’s a sweetheart. Can you tell him we miss his frowny face? MAXINE MYERS: I’m so sorry, Keith. Chris died. A zombie bite. MANISHA: Oh God! Really? Oh, that’s awful. You know, I’ve been thinking for ages that he’d really enjoy it here. I was planning to get in touch. Wait. He wasn’t the McShell who got in touch about Van Ark’s research? MAXINE MYERS: What do you mean? PAULA COHEN: Who was asking about Van Ark’s research? It was all destroyed, wasn’t it? MANISHA: Oh, yeah. I suppose you never knew about that. Well, about the time you left, there were a group of us who were thinking of making a run for it anyway. I mean, he went crackers, and was convinced everyone was a traitor. Had some weird mind-controlled servant man running around after him. It just wasn’t homey anymore, you know what I mean? KEITH: Yeah. He wasn’t the Prof anymore. It was really sad. I mean, looking back, I think he had that look on him, like when someone just can’t hack it anymore in the apprentice house, and you know they’re going to ask to leave without even getting fired. MANISHA: Anyway, when you destroyed the compound, Five, I wasn’t sure what was the right thing to do exactly. So what I did was, I stole all the research I could carry and bought my way in here. They were really interested in the rejuvenation treatments. PAULA COHEN: So… so you kept Van Ark’s notes? MANISHA: Yeah. And then some McShell was asking for them on Rofflenet. I thought it was Chris, and sent them over. MAXINE MYERS: You sent Van Ark’s notes to a McShell at Abel? MANISHA: Yeah. Well, I wonder who it was I sent them to. Come on! We’ve slowed down. I want to be able to feel this tomorrow. Run! PAULA COHEN: So, what was it exactly that you sent to Abel, Manisha? MANISHA: I thought you weren’t interested in all that do-gooding stuff anymore. KEITH: Oh no, babe. Paula’s always been super curious, haven’t you? Got your investigator’s badge? MANISHA: Keith! Did you ever even meet Paula? PAULA COHEN: Oh yeah! We were Starfish Quest buddies. MANISHA and MAXINE MYERS: What? PAULA COHEN: laughs I thought we said we were never going to mention that again. MAXINE MYERS: Oh no, mention it! PAULA COHEN: It’s very scurrilous. Me and Keith used to play this virtual reality game with these helmets, and you were on a boat, and you had to collect, uh… what was it? KEITH: Starfish! Hence Starfish Quest. MAXINE MYERS: laughs What, seriously? You and this guy played virtual fishing at Van Ark’s lab of horror? PAULA COHEN: Sometimes I needed a break from the horror. Keith was good for that. MANISHA: You know, I think that’s why I married him. PAULA COHEN: It was a good game! You had to collect these little animated starfish. I was so jealous of you, Keith. You had every color, even that mauve starfish. I really coveted that mauve starfish. You’d never trade it with me. KEITH: laughs No way! No, not Mauvey. Yeah, no, I was good at that game. No surprise, really, because I once played a fisherman in an afternoon play. I did this voice, like uh, “Arrgh, the ocean is a harsh mistress, but I loves her, I does.” explosion MAXINE MYERS: Was that a bomb? MANISHA: Oh no, we’re under attack! KEITH: Manisha, what do we do? There are zombies. JODY MARSH: Someone’s taken the fence down! Could be someone’s told Sigrid you’re here. There are zombies coming in from your six and nine. All of you, head towards the ornamental bridge. Run! KEITH: Oh my God! That was amazing, Runner Five and Paula! You just got those zombies to chase you across the bridge, and then you penned them in by bringing down the pergola! It was just like that thing they trained us to do in Ross Kemp Celebrity SAS, except you actually did it, not a stunt double. MANISHA: I think we can probably find you that plasmapheresis machine to say thank you, to be honest. Amelia said you were looking for one. MAXINE MYERS: But who brought down the fence? MANISHA: Must have been Netrophil. A few of them are still hanging around causing trouble. Look, our security people are fixing the fence already. JODY MARSH: No sign of further attack. That was weird. Just a tiny explosion, just enough to make a noise and bring those security guards running. MANISHA: Come on. Let’s get you that plasmapheresis machine. We’ve got one that will fit into your backpack, Five. And if we hurry, you’ll be in time for ginseng tea and ? massage on the lawn. Come on! zips PAULA COHEN: Thank you, Manisha. This, well… you don’t know what this means to me. KEITH: Oh, that’s alright, babe. We’ve got like fifty of them. You keep your nice machine. I remember Chris was just like you, always poking into technology, rewiring stuff. And he saved our lives, you know. We’ll always owe him… whatever McShell it was we sent that stuff to. MAXINE MYERS: What was it that you sent to that McShell? MANISHA: You seem very curious about that, Doctor Fandfogler. Why do you want to know? opens AMELIA SPENS: Runner Five, Doctor Cohen, Doctor… Fartwingler. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Uh, all right, I just popped my head around the door of Malina, the chief whatsit doodah chappie here. Such a nice man! Always nice to put a face to a name, or in this case, a face to some threatening graffiti left outside one of my more recent homes. How is all this going? Well met? Everyone getting on, best of friends? You’ve got a plasmapheresis machine? Lovely. Now, we should probably be going. Very quickly. PAULA COHEN: Great to see you again, Keith. GUARD: There they are! AMELIA SPENS: And really, really, that’s our cue to leave. MANISHA: What’s going on? AMELIA SPENS: Uh, nothing. Just time getting on. JODY MARSH: Amelia, what did you do? GUARD: Stop! Malina’s been attacked! MAXINE MYERS: Oh, for God’s sake! Run! AMELIA SPENS: We’re far enough away. Let’s take a quick break. MAXINE MYERS: You attacked their leader, didn’t you? AMELIA SPENS: Yes, a bit. PAULA COHEN: And that bomb wasn’t Netrophil, was it? You planted that. It was you causing a diversion to distract their security guards. That was where you went on the way over here. AMELIA SPENS: Possibly. Look, you got what we came for, didn’t you? And those people were never really going to be your friends. Their leader, Malina – ugh, such a creepy guy – he owed me for a job I did a while ago. Thought I’d collect while I was here. JODY MARSH: And by collect, you meant kill him. AMELIA SPENS: Not kill him, just let him know what happens if he crosses me. A living person who’s terrified of you is much more valuable than a dead person, you know. JODY MARSH: Guys, someone’s coming. rustles KEITH: I’m alone. Please, please don’t kill me or whatever. Look, I just wanted to give you something. No one knows I chased you. They’re all in the bunker, standard lockdown procedure. But I thought… we did this training when I was on Space Spies, right? And you were so interested in what we sent to Chris, and if it wasn’t actual Chris, I feel weird about it, so… look. rustles It’s the e-mails we sent to that McShell at Abel. PAULA COHEN: Oh, Keith… KEITH: Yeah, sorry it’s not a mauve starfish. PAULA COHEN: I know you’d never trade that. I asked enough times. KEITH: So, I heard that documentary about you. Are they making any more? Just because, if they are, you know, I thought I could play Sam Yao? “Hey, Runner Five, got any Curly Wurlies? Yeah, far out, awesome.” See? MAXINE MYERS: laughs We’ll uh, have a word. KEITH: Thanks! Oh, I got to get back before they notice I’m missing. JODY MARSH: What is it? What did they send Veronica? MAXINE MYERS: It’s uh, a lot of Van Ark notes, including stuff about the early zombie virus, when he was still trying to synthesize it from the scraps he’d been given. Oh. Oh my God. This is why Sigrid wants to get into the labs under Abel so desperately! JODY MARSH: What is it? MAXINE MYERS: Look at these e-mails between Veronica and Manisha. Oh my God. The zombie virus we have now, we’ve been thinking that it’s the same as the Viking virus – that once Veronica had seen how they cured it, she could cure our virus – but it’s not the same! Van Ark told Sigrid he’d made the same thing, but he hadn’t. He’d just synthesized something that did roughly the same job. They don’t have notes of exactly what he did. They need to get the Viking virus from that Viking zombie under Abel so they can compare the two before they can even begin to work on a cure. Without it, Sigrid’s got nothing. PAULA COHEN: And look at this. Veronica spells out what she’s planning to do once she has full control of the zombie virus. Cure, and vaccine. She’s going to vaccinate her people and withdraw her soldiers. MAXINE MYERS: It’s not a coincidence that she’s trying to get into the labs under Abel. It’s not just idle curiosity. It’s not just to destroy the evidence under there. She doesn’t just want to hold Abel because it was a rebel stronghold. She’s not going to stop until she gets into those labs. PAULA COHEN: And when she does, thousands of people who aren’t her chosen elect are going to die.Category:Mission Category:Season Five